Arch Nemesis
by museicality
Summary: Written for SMACKDOWN 2011, Team Underpants. Sergeant Justice and Commander Vengeance lead much more interesting lives… Part of the Superheroes! Series . Abreviated warning: Crack! and Sparklytights!Roger.


Title: Arch Nemesis

Rating: G

Word Count: 705

Pairing: Dom/Evin- Team Underpants

Round/Fight: 1/A

Summary: Sergeant Justice and Commander Vengeance lead much more interesting lives…(Part of the Superheroes! Series)

Warning: Pure crack!. We may be talking: "I'm surprised you can still read this through that giant Crack! in your computer screen" crack!. Also, Sparklytights!Roger.

This meeting was boring.

Evin tried harder to listen.

"Rider trainees…. Blah blah blah… Pirate's Swoop… blah summer training blah…"

Okay, so he wasn't trying very hard at all.

But there was a reason for this, he defended himself. There was a massive prank war to be had after this gods-curst meeting ended, and Sergeant Justice and Commander Vengeance would be leading this particular crusade…

His mind continued to wander as he watched Alanna, Thayet, and Buri's mouths move.

Hmm… Sergeant Justice and Commander Vengeance were fighting for peace and pranks, but…

Evin sighed. There was just something missing without an arch nemesis.

[i]

"Quick!" the shouts of his men were all around him, and Evin turned, feeling his cape furl out behind him. "Commander Vengeance, sir! It's, it's-" the man turned and pointed.

Rising up out of the abyss before them was a monster unlike anything that Evin had ever seen before.

The Thaumaturge himself…

"So, Commander Vengeance, do we have a plan?" Sergeant Justice, clothed in the blue spandex uniform of Justice, stood next to him, surveying the scene.

The creature was hideous; it moved towards them, its sparkly tights flashing rainbow hues as it twirled a blue pendant on a chain around its neck.

"Do we ever have a plan?"

"…I like it." Sergeant Justice watched as colored gifts flared and flashed iridescence across the battlefield.

"Sergeant Justice, Commander Vengeance, the Sparkly Sorcerer is far too powerful!"

The call to arms was loud in the ears of righteousness, and the two caped avengers shared a look.

"Evasion tactic thirteen is a go!" Evin shouted as he ran off, drawing the attention of Roger of Conte, the Sparkly Sorcerer to himself and away from the weakening troops.

At the raise of his hand, Sergeant Justice gathered the remaining men to himself. "Prepare the magic missiles!"

At his command, they released a storm of magicked bolts upon the sparkly-tighted one, but to no avail. Before significant damage could be done, they had run out of bolts, and

"Sir, we're out of energy blasts too!"

It wasn't looking good for the forces of righteousness.

"Back, you slobbering scoundrel!" Commander Vengeance had taken to taunting the Sparkly Sorcerer from just out of reach, putting his skills as a Player to good use as he tumbled and rolled out of the way of the Sparkly Sorcerer's attacks.

"Sergeant Justice, a little help here!" he yelled, hearing the sizzle of a bolt barely missing his bum.

"We're out of magic missiles!"

The face of Commander Vengeance was set as he shouted back, "You'll have to get the mirror of magnification! Only its power can save us now!"

The men looked from the Sergeant to the Commander and back again, before Sergeant Justice barked at them, "You heard him! We have no choice!"

A strike of lightning sizzled across the air as the mirror, in its padded case, was handed to him, and he sprinted to join Commander Vengeance.

Together, the levered it back, feeling the buzz of its latent power awaken to a roar under their fingers as they aimed it at the atrocity before them, in all of its colorful, sparkly-tighted glory.

"No, NOOOOO!" Roger roared as light caught the surface of the mirror and reflected itself back at him.

"BEAM—OF—POWER!" The two had to look away as the power of the mirror, carrying the magnified reflection of Roger and his sparkly tights, blasted across the field to Roger, who staggered under its destructive potential.

"You haven't heard the last of meeeee…"

Slowly, they lowered the mirror.

"Is it over?"

Commander Vengeance looked around. "You know, Sergeant Justice, I do believe it is."

"Evin, pay attention!"

[/i]

The sound of his name jolted Evin, and as he swung in confusion to face Sergeant Justice, his daydream fizzled around him.

Sergeant Justice didn't have a distinctly feminine voice.

Sergeant Justice also didn't normally address him in irate tones, or have fiery hair, or irritated purple eyes.

"Evin, have you even been listening?" Alanna leaned on the table, looking him in they eye.

Blinking, Evin tried to arrange his thoughts, but all that came out of his mouth was,

"You should have used the Mirror of Magnification."


End file.
